Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
