But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
