The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize