I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
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I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
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It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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