he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
