Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
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