Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
