thus making me awesome and them whores
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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