Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It's shark week go big or go home
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
