Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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