just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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