She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
