You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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