two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
