Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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