I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
