im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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