im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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