yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
