Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I skipped work to stalk him.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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