you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
