I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
