Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
