Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Damn victory sex feels great
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
