i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
