god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Randomize
