Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
