I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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