he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Randomize
