two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
