help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
