nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
