So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
