Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
