if i can run in heels then i can drive
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
