fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
