Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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