but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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