I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
