had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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