roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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