That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize