White coat. Heels.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the puke drawer
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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