we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
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no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
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Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.