Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.