Cold hands, warm shart.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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