look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
