So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
