There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
