I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
