she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
