i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize