no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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