he told me I talked like a deaf person
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
