pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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