i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
