you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize