What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
