When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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