just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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