How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
