I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
