real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i barfeds in our rink
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize
