I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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