To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
