he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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