My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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