I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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