he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
