At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
