Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I have fence marks all over my body
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize